Assassination Crackroom
by ButterflySatan
Summary: Manami didn't mean to create a gas that basically got the entire class feeling high. It was an accident. It just happened. But now, they were all facing the consequences. Crack shipping, randomness. T for language, I guess. Cover image not mine.


**A/N: Disclaimer. I don't own Assassination Classroom, and if I did, I would have made Karmagisa canon. As well as a few other things. Thanks to all for reading!**

 **Idk how, but I got this idea from listening to the song Talk Too Much by Coin.**

 **Anyways…**

Manami didn't _mean_ to create a gas that basically got the entire class feeling high. It was an accident. It just happened. But now, they were all facing the consequences.

She was trying to create another poison for Koro-sensei to try during lunch, when it had gone up in a mushroom cloud and enveloped the entire class in a noxious yellow fume. People started to panic. Manami started to feel funny. It was like- like she… was inhaling something she _really shouldn't be inhaling._

A giggling Kurahashi came up behind her.

"Okuda… what did you make? I feel good. Hehehe! I'm like… like so good right now. Are you good? I'm good." She walked away, still giggling uncontrollably.

And that was when Okajima decided to climb up on one of the desks.

"Which one of you stole my porn magazines?! I know it was one of you! I bet it was you, Isogai!" He said pointing to the boy in question, "You've kept up the good guy act for a long time, and now you show your true colors!" He then proceeded to jump on top of Isogai and a poorly executed fistfight followed suit.

"Wait! It can't be Isogai!" Kataoka exclaimed.

"Why not?" A weirdly chorused E-Class responded to her declaration. Megu, too, got up on one of the desks, she dramatically flipped her hair to the side.

"Because Isogai is as gay as fu**!" Her hands were on her hips and she looked very proud of the beans that had been spilled all over the End Class.

Nakamura and Karma, the devious devil pair, put on their evil faces and crept over to be on either side of a bright red Isogai, who was now distanced from the frequent porn reader (FPR for short).

"So Isogai…" Karma purred.

"Which guy in here do you got your eyes on?" Nakamura finished.

"I-I-I'm n-n-not gay! You are!" Karma began to laugh. And then his eyes gleamed.

"Ooh-ooh-ooh! Do you want me to be?" Karma laid the flirt on thick. A naughty Karma was bowled over by none other than Maehara! He let out a sort of war cry, resembling Tarzan.

"You wanna fight for him you son of a-" His speech was interrupted by a squealing horde of girls crowding around him. They all had sparkles coming off of them in a powdery cloud.

Attack on Titan? More like Attack on Fangirls! There was a smattering of tearful applause when Isogai reluctantly announced that he and Maehara had been secretly dating.

Kayano came up to them with a dead look on her face. For such a small girl, she looked awfully big in this moment.

"DON'T EVER KEEP ME FROM MY GAY SHIPPING EVER AGAIN!" She yelled in their faces. Isogai hid behind his boyfriend's (as all the girls would now refer to him as) back.

The bubbly girls started a chant of 'yaoi' that continued on for several minutes.

Since it was lunch break, their octopus (tako) teacher was currently who-knows-where buying who-knows-what with his meager earnings as a teacher. Which meant the class was in complete chaos. Karasuma-sensei and Bitch-sensei were currently in the teachers' lounge coming up with lesson plans for the following class days.

When they heard the boy love chants and a startlingly scary yell about shipping, they burst into the foggy classroom. Then, as no one ever expected, they started to feel the effects too.

Irina swooned.

"Oh, this dreadful fog makes my head feel funny! Karasuma, save me!" She attempted to fall into said man's arms, but he was already at the center of the classroom. He glowered at them.

"You kids threw a party without me!?" And their muscular, masculine, and very attractive gym teacher began to sob. All jaws dropped to the floor and then Yada spoke up.

"It's a party, right? SO LET'S PARTY BITCHES!" Well that was unexpected. Ritsu, who didn't want to miss out on the gas drug thing, had fritzed part of her own system to make her loopy. She turned on some party music and cranked it up until it was blasting the roof off of the small building. Everyone started to dance. Well, not so much dancing as flailing their limbs all over their place. Someone remembered someone else commenting that they looked like Koro-sensei…s, but no one remembered _who_ said what.

After most had retired from their constipated movements, a group had been formed in the (mis)shape of a circle. The desks had been cleared to seat all of the class minus Koro-sensei who still wasn't back from wherever he went for some reason.

"Truth or dare~~~~~~~!" It was an unwelcome suggestion, but it for some unexplained cause, it was selected as the game they would play.

It began with none other than the she-devil herself. The miss stood up and grinned cruelly at each of them in turn. A few gulps were heard collectively. She pointed her clawed hand (hey! She had just filed her nails this morning!) at… *commence drum roll*… Nagisa!

"Hehe, Nagisa! Truth or dare?" Her eyes sparkled mischievously. Friggin minx.

"Truth?" Nagisa answered in a whisper so it sounded like a question.

"Wrong answer! You pick dare!" Nakamura screeched. (Karma muttered "banshee" under his breath).

"Alright my androgynous beauty, you… what shall I make you do? Hmmmm my pretty and your little dog too~!" She sang gleefully. She sounded like a smash poet.

A lightbulb seemed to flicker on top of her head and then shine a… red? color. There appeared to be little devil horns resting on the opaque object.

"MAKE OUT WITH ANYONE OF YOUR CHOICE!" She cackled like the witch they all knew she really was. She then retreated to the corner repeating "yesss" in a very Gollum-like manner.

Nagisa felt conflicted. Make out? With anyone of his choice? His face reddened.

"B-but I don't wa-wanna k-kiss anyone!" He let out pathetically. The class went dead silent as many pair of furious eyes were set upon him.

"We're having a vote!" Announced their newfound gaybie. After a few minutes of mumbling, grumbling, laughing and crying, two competitors were chosen… Kayano and Karma!

They sat on either side of the judge, Justice (his highly preferred name(ooff the puns)). He had gotten a wig and a gavel from somewhere so that automatically made him the judge. Also it sounded cool: Judge Justice. The classroom deeply believed that he was their new comic book hero. Poor Kimura.

They were each allowed to pick a coach to prepare them for their "confession" to Nagisa so he would kiss them.

Karma picked Nakamura and Kayano chose Bitch-sensei.

"Bitch-sensei! Help meeeee!" She wailed. "How do I woo a man?" Irina had been ogling Karasuma this whole time and thus had missed the extremely loud clue-ons to what was happening.

"Which man are you trying to get? I've got some tricks up my sleeve."

"Nagisa." Irina looked at her with the saddest look on her face.

"Oh honey, you'd have to be another man to get him." Nagisa overheard this.

"I'M NOT GAY!" He tried to defend his sexuality.

"Sure, John Watson, sure."

"Kanzaki!? I thought you'd be on my side!" Nagisa complained. She shook her head.

"No, darling. Thou heart can only belongth to anotheth maneth." She butchered old English horrible.

"So it is settled then!" Surprisingly, it was Terasaka that brought their attention to a wonderful revelation. Karma had won Nagisa's kiss!

"MOREEEE HOMOSSSSS!" Fuwa was getting pretty excited.

Itona and Yoshida started a rally.

"KISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISS!" Soon, everyone had joined in.

Karma sauntered up to a heavily blushing Nagisa and said, "Hey baby, 'ow about giving daddy a smooch?" He did a _horrible_ (or should it be Horibe) American accent.

Nagisa tried to run away but Karma grabbed the small boy by his slim waist. It kinda looked like a scene from The Lion King, until he turned the smaller boy around to face his… face… and pressed their lips together. Most of the girls (and boys, don't lie) shrieked. Kayano, though disappointed, did too. Hara fainted and fell on top of Hazama, who had applied a lot of pink, girlish makeup to her face. What had happened to their emo psychopath? And where did she get the makeup? It'd be best not to ask.

Anyways, a brain-dead Nagisa was still in a smirking Karma's arms. Later, after this whole ordeal, others would begin to question if Karma's actions were really drug-gas induced.

Nobody missed Chiba and Hayami's little make-out corner. But, then again, with all of the new homos, it wasn't a big deal. Everyone had been expecting it anyways.

When Karma finally set Nagisa down, the latter scampered away to a lovestruck Bitch-sensei.

"Bitch-sensei! Am I homo?" She glanced down at him.

"Nagisa… you are the single gayest boy I have ever met, other than Karma, that is." Nagisa sank to his knees.

"God made me a homo. How do I break it to my mother?! To my country?!" He looked rather depressed. Karma, who just happened to hear and see (totally without any eavesdropping at all) the entire scene go down, approached his fellow gay classmate.

"So… you admit your sexuality, finally." Nagisa glared up at him, and then blushed and looked away. Karma sat down and slung his arm around his small blue-haired friend.

Meanwhile, a card game had been started. It was a heavily altered version of poker. The chips were replaced with anti-Koro-sensei beads.

The participants included Sugino, Kanzaki, Takebayashi, Sugaya, Kimura (who was being called Justice currently) Kurahashi, and Nakamura.

Kanzaki, actually had set up the whole thing. She had found a deck of card and came up with the idea to play.

The first hand was dealt and Kanzaki looked at her cards. She had a full house! She glanced around at the other players. Sugaya gave away his bad set easily, and Kurahashi looked pleased, so she must have gotten a good hand. Takebayashi was hard to read, but she saw a slight smirk on his face, so she guessed he got lucky, too. Nakamura was surprisingly great at keeping a poker face, not giving anything away, as well as Sugino. Kimura, too, was keeping a low profile.

Sugaya folded. Kanzaki put on a smug smile that seemed to intimidate Kurahashi, because she kept glancing at her cards, looking less and less confident. When Nakamura asked her how high a straight flush was, she folded too. That made Kimura look uneasy. But he stayed in the game.

The five remaining players laid out their cards. Kurahashi sighed when she saw Kanzaki's hand, her own would not have been able to beat it. As it was, Kanzaki won that round.

Itona was talking with Ritsu about technology stuff, and Terasaka didn't understand it. He leaned his head back on the chair he was sitting on. He closed his eyes.

When he opened them, Hazama was right there! He jumped. Her face was coated in white powder and pink make-up. She started to laugh, returning to her normal evil self.

Bitchy ghost.

The effects of Okuda's concoction wore off in a few more minutes. The entire class got a headache after that. They were having a hard time recalling the events of their lunch break.

Nagisa scratched his head. He felt embarrassed for some reason, and when he looked over at Karma, he blushed. Karma winked. A wink? What did that mean.

Nagisa's thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of a certain yellow octopus. He looked around at the room, where everyone was spread out and holding their heads.

"What happened here?" He asked, his yellow expression (as that was all it could be) remained.

"Who knows?" The class responded.

"I feel like there was a mention of porn?" Yoshida suggested. Oh yeah. That happened.

"I know I heard something about yaoi!" Bitch-sensei added.

"Didn't Karasuma-sensei cry?"

"Why are there cards? Did we play a game?"

"Was I the only one who saw kissing? Who was kissing again?"

"I don't remember."

They went on with their day. No one ever solved the mystery of the missing porn magazines, and Okajima just went and got some more.

Nagisa kept feeling something for Karma, who, in turn, felt something for him. Kayano was starting to get over Nagisa, Nakamura found herself with more couples to tease, Itona and Ritsu got along better, Hazama became happier, Kimura was accepting his name of Justice and, as a whole, the class became closer. Especially Bitch-sensei and Karasuma-sensei (wink, wink).

But no one ever noticed the extra porn volumes hidden in Koro-sensei's desk.

The End.

 **A/N: hey guys, hope you enjoyed the story! I would love requests for stories, thank you for reading my awful writing! ~Your satanic butterfly**


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